


The Black, The White, and The Grey

by Chiisaitenshi



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, M/M, POV Ben Solo, POV First Person, POV Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron/Finn Fluff, Rey & Rose Tico Are Best Friends, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22971502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiisaitenshi/pseuds/Chiisaitenshi
Summary: "Do not define your world in Black and White because there is so much more amongst the Grey"
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 21
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Chapter 1

Soulmates and ghosts, I could see them. This gift, this curse, it started when I was young. To clarify, it’s a rare occurrence. The next time it happened was during my third year at university. A thread appeared between two students in one of my classes. Furthering my curiosity, the goal was to test these theories. Out of nowhere, this experiment resulted in us becoming best friends. Mind you, Poe and Finn weren’t acquaintances. Their mutual meeting was through me. Whether connected by fate, any lasting relationship requires harmony.

Ghosts, I didn’t recognize them because they looked human. They weren’t aware of me; wandering on their own, unnoticed. From my observations, they would watch over or follow someone. My guesses were a family member, friend, or lover. Over time, one day, they’d disappear. I concluded they left when they’ve fulfilled their purpose, finding peace.

Ironic, becoming a clinical psychologist wasn’t my first choice. But these powers helped me do wonders. Achieving success at incredible rates. My patients found their way to me; I didn’t go to them. Poe and Finn were exceptions. For my sanity, I avoided taking matters into my own hands.

“Rose, darling!” Shouting with my mouth full was typical. “May you clean up my mess for me?” Who is Rose? She’s my best friend from childhood, but we grew up like sisters. We lived in a residential neighborhood in Flatbush, Brooklyn. Renting a small apartment since graduating from university.

“Rey, why?!” she yelled back, exasperated. “Get ready earlier next time!” I heard the annoyance in her footsteps as she made her way towards the kitchen. Bombarding me with questions. “Are you eating? You’re going out for dinner!” Stating the obvious. “Did you dress warm enough? It might snow!”

“Don’t worry.” I scrambled, trying to gather the rest of my belongings. “These fancy restaurants can’t satisfy my appetite, you know that.” Giving her a wink, a foot out the door. “Owe you one, promise!”

* * *

Grateful to my readers, I’ve become one of New York Times Bestselling authors. “Bastard, you did it, another novel!” Hux slurred as we left the banquet. Our differences reminded me why we were colleagues only, not friends. As editor-in-chief, he thought his inputs were important. “They invited us to an after-party, interested Solo?”

These festivities were headache-inducing. For my sake, he’d argue it was for publicity. But I declined, starting my leave. “I’m relieved knowing my agenda is free.”

With Hux absent, a pleasant calm drifted through the late night. The buzz didn’t hamper me. Taking a deep breath, I continued on the streets of Lower Manhattan.

* * *

A few drinks later, I was feeling tired, ready to sleep. Treading through the snow, one thought crossed my mind.

 _Manhattan let me stay._ My breath in the air. 

“Doctor?!” His voice was abrupt, making me turn.

“Oh! What a coincidence, Mister-” He cut me off, knocking my body hard onto the pavement.

“You bitch, I won’t go!” my patient screamed. “Do you hear me?! I will not go back!”

Defenseless, I tried to recover from the fall.

Someone shouted, their voice unfamiliar. “What do you think you’re doing?!” His footsteps were thudding in our direction as he approached us. Next, his fist propelled forward, hitting my patient square in the jaw. Grabbing the front of his jacket, he held him in place. “Don’t get near her!”

Raising my arms in protest, I tried to protect him. “Leave him be!” Wincing in pain, my hand went straight to my aching shoulder. _Damn, that hurt!_

“Are you aware of what you’re saying?!” The stranger stared at me, bewildered. “He-”

“I won’t go there!” my patient yelled once more, trying to break free from his grasp. “You can’t make me!”

Ignoring me, he warned him. “Distance yourself from her or-” The impulsiveness made my knuckles crack, bruising from the impact. _Son of a—Ow!_ Releasing my patient, he stumbled back from him. His eyes darted to mine, his hand covering the reddening cheek. It was immediate, his expression changing from shock to anger. “You must be out of your mind!”

My temper equaled his. “You gave me no choice!” My patient bolted from us, bellowing as he did. “I’m his doctor, he needs my help.”

Leaving the stranger stunned, I was in pursuit.

* * *

My sensible self knew I wasn’t thinking. _Damn this woman!_ My body moved on its own accord, chasing them through the alleys of New York.

The man’s deranged cries echoed between the buildings as he tried to make his way. “Please, stop!” she shouted, her voice blending in with his wild screams. “Try to calm yourself!”

Most times, I’d avoid encounters like this. But I’d feel responsible if he further harmed her.

 _He’s going in this direction!_ Appearing in my peripheral, I intercepted him around the corner. Our collision thrust him into a brick wall, but he was resistant. I had to secure my grip on him, match his strength. _Endangering yourself._ I thought, huffing between breaths. _Desperate times call._ Peering into his eyes, he stared back, panicking. “You’ll relax, be at ease.” His hands loosened their hold on me as I continued. “Go to sleep.” After his body went limp, I placed him into the recovery position. Using the wall for balance, the effects dazed my mind. The alcohol made it worse.

“You,” she huffed. “Why are you here?!” Stepping aside, I gave her view of him. “What happened?!”

Hurrying past me, she dropped to her knees. “I apprehended him.” Checking his vitals. “He isn’t hurt.”

After she dialed the emergency number, the ambulance didn’t take long to arrive. Placing him on a stretcher, I heard her thank them. “That will be all.” They left, leaving us alone. Sighing, she seemed relieved, her eyes on me. “I suppose I should offer you my gratitude.” Her half-smile disappeared. “But you had no right to interfere.”

My hands clenched. “You’re impossible!” _This damn woman!_ “After saving your life, and his!” My voice harsh, I stressed. “Don’t think I didn’t consider reporting you for assault.”

“Injury made in course, by protecting someone, the law covers it.” She didn’t let her guard falter. “I had everything under control.”

I scoffed. “Hitting me as I attempted to defend you from a madman. You chased after him, screaming at the top of your lungs.” I stepped forward. “That is not defining a controlled situation.” Only inches between us. “You needed me.”

“You presumptuous-” She grimaced, panting, a hand going to her shoulder.

My instincts made me reach. “Doctor!” Catching her body as it fell. “Hey, are you okay?!” Holding her close, I checked for breathing, a pulse. Taking out my cell, I tried to call for help, but the battery was low. My eyes scanned our surroundings, looking for witnesses, no one. “Shit, what should I do?”

Frustrated, I let out a sigh, watching it linger above me. The stars glistened, revealing themselves behind the clouds.

Contemplating, curious, I examined her a second time. At first sight, she appeared fragile, disguising remarkable strength. Sweat matted her hair, making it stick to her forehead. _Subduing the pain must have exhausted you._ Brushing the brown strands to the side, I studied her, noticing. The most prominent were her freckles. They speckled from one cheek to the other, painting a galaxy across her face.

The more I gazed, I admitted. She was rather beautiful.

My mind argued, trying to convince me that there were different options. Except, my arms lifted her, carrying her towards my home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO ADD IMAGES, OMG, LOL
> 
> I just wanted to mention that Rey is 24. She is somewhat of a prodigy, starting university at 15. It takes about 7 years to become a clinical psychologist, she's been working for a year or so. Ben is 34. Yup, keeping the 10 year age gap :P
> 
> Character(s) info so far:
> 
> Rose is 27, Finn is 27, Poe is 36, and Armitage is 34.
> 
> I hope you guys have been liking it so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> If you're interested, this is the playlist I made for my story :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> More chapters to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, much love <3


	2. Chapter 2

_You’re so lonely, so afraid to leave._ This dream. _At night, you’re desperate to sleep. You imagine it, but you know the truth. Whoever you’re waiting for, they’re not coming back. The longing you seek is not behind you, it’s ahead. Feel it, it’s there. It will guide you._

I know it.

 _Don’t be afraid. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart, I promise._

My eyes opened, blinking at an empty ceiling. Waking unbalanced, my mind felt hazy. My body ached, reminding me of recent events. The white couch I laid upon anchored my injured shoulder. Easing up, I looked around. The space was unusual. Like stepping into the twilight zone. Everything was black, white, or both. The decor, from furniture to display art. It was surreal. Seeing an open concept home furnished this way was rare. Or any home to this extent. “Where am I?”

“You’re awake,” he said, startling me. _I recognize that voice._ His movements change. He was ready, careful, his eyes locked onto mine. Knowing I was about to erupt. Raising his hands in front of himself, he reassured me. “You’re safe here.”

Eyeing him, I hesitated before giving a nod. He made his way to a black chair, facing me. The silence grew as we stared at one another; the atmosphere becoming awkward. “Care to explain?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, breaking his gaze first. But I continued to look.

His black locks were voluminous, contrasting against his fair skin. Beauty marks scattered across his face. It was an attractive feature on him, connecting constellations. His facial hair added wisdom, but a complicated past left deep creases. I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t handsome. “You were unconscious,” he disclosed, his attention on me once more. “I exhausted my resources before bringing you here, to my home.” He held his seriousness. “That is the truth.” 

Considering his words, I believed him. “I appreciate what you’ve done for me.” Unsure if he accepted my thanks, remembering that I hit him earlier. Though, it didn’t seem to phase him, nodding in return before he stood. “May I ask you something?” He stopped where he was, turning to me. His expression stayed blank, but his eyes were wondering. “Has your doctor diagnosed you with OCD?”

* * *

She was forward. “Are you a psychologist?” Seeing her frown, we were at an impasse. I proceeded with an open mind, intrigued by her curiosity. “They tell me it’s a concern.” Walking from the counter, she was watchful. “I assumed you were because of yesterday.”

“Yesterday?!” Her body tensed as her eyes darted to the window, scanning the darkness.

“It’s six in the morning.” I held out her mobile, giving it back. “The battery died overnight, so I charged it.” 

Reaching, she was deliberate, avoiding contact with my hand. Her anxiety grew as she stared at the screen, her fingers scrolling through it. “I’ve got explaining to do,” she muttered. “I must get going.”

“Allow me to give you a ride.” She was tentative about my suggestion, doubting my motives. “No need to say your exact location.” I was mindful of her privacy. “It could be strenuous for you, traveling alone in your current condition.” 

She stood from the sofa, adjusting herself. “I’m capable on my own.” Disapproving of my remark.

“I didn’t doubt that.” Her stubbornness was disconcerting, making me feel a little resentful. “Does it trouble you that much?” Or was it her pride? “To accept help?” 

Her expression appeared indifferent, ignoring me. “Show me the exit,” she demanded. “I’ll let myself-” Tapping her shoulder, a groan left her lips, her anger more transparent. “You must be sadistic!” 

“I’m making a point.” She tested my tolerance. “Stop trying to justify yourself.”

She stepped forward, standing her ground. “I have nothing to prove to you.” Her voice scathing. “Don’t act as if you understand me.”

“I know more than you would believe.” My arms wrapped around her body, infuriating her. 

“You dare touch-” she shouted. “Let go of me!” She strained within my hold, causing herself pain. Her strength was staggering. But I wouldn’t give into foolishness. She was putting her life at risk. _I want to protect you, damn it!_ Hearing her breath hitch, she stopped resisting, becoming compliant. 

Releasing her, I saw her chest rise, falling, breathing once more. Staring, she held back tears. “If you got hurt and I could’ve prevented it.” Making me feel remorseful. “I wouldn’t forgive myself.”

* * *

I’m known for my irrational behavior. But it’s been a while since someone challenged me. I confessed; it was comforting. For a stranger to care so much. 

_What are these feelings?_ As he drove us to my destination, we stayed quiet like the early morning.

Slowing his car to a stop, he dropped me off where I told him. He didn’t pry, trusting that my home was close by. “I want to apologize for what happened earlier,” he expressed, surprising me. “I didn’t mean to cause you distress.” 

His voice sounded sincere. “You were being considerate.” Admitting that brought an embarrassing warmth to my cheeks, my chest. “I should’ve done the same.” Wanting to say more, I decided against it. With a simple nod, he stepped out, walking over to the passenger side. Opening the door, he extended his hand towards me. I just stared at it, undecided. _You’re ridiculous!_ I thought. _It’s a kind gesture. Get over yourself!_

My memories tried to remember anything, anyone that made me feel this way. Turning without saying a word, my heart scolded me, knowing what I wanted. 

“My name is Ben.” His tone changed. “This may sound unconvincing.” It was inviting, warm. “But I’d like to meet under different circumstances.”

Looking his way, I hid my elation. “Rey.” His smile was gentle, charming. “We’ll see.”

With a glance, he drove off, leaving me hopeful.

_So, I didn’t imagine it._

Running, the adrenaline pushed my body through the cold.

Barging into my apartment, I threw my things on the couch. “Where the HELL have you been?!” Rose boomed, stomping towards me. “No calls, texts, nothing! You don’t know how worried-” I grabbed her arm, pulling her towards my room. Shoving her in, I locked the door behind us. “What’s with you?! I deserve an explanation!”

My expression was enough to silence her. “What I’m about to tell, keep it between us, understood?” Taking in a breath, I stressed. “Swear it.”

* * *

Dawn continued to color the sky during my casual walk home.

_Rey_

My thoughts only of her.

It felt euphoric.

The rising sun shone on a figure standing before me. The moment my eyes recognized them, everything around us stopped.

“Hey, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> I hope you guys have been liking it so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> If you're interested, this is the playlist I made for my story :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> More chapters to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, much love <3


	3. Chapter 3

Watching her was difficult. The silence became unbearable, my patience wearing thin. It exhausted her to sit there and stay quiet, trying not to interrupt. Lucky for me, she listened with intent. But I could tell her mask was about to crack. “You can see dead people?” Rose questioned, processing my words.

“Ghosts,” I corrected her, fidgeting with my fingers.

She gave a slow nod, continuing. “And a string of fate?”

“Soulmates,” I reworded, my mind restless.

She furrowed her brows. “Right.” Between crossing her arms and pressing her temples, Rose appeared lost in her thoughts.

Without warning, her fist hit my arm hard. “Ow!” The pain traveling the length of it. “What the-” 

“FUCK, Rey!” she disrupted, ending my sentence. Rose stood from my bed, pacing the width of my room. “When did we meet?!” Turning to me, she threw her hands up, frustrated. “You’ve known me for ¾ of my life, why tell me when we’re adults?!”

Standing, I balled my hand, striking her. “What would’ve you had me do?!” She groaned in pain, rubbing her shoulder. “You expect me to just say this?! Without doubt?!” 

“I’m your best friend!” she yelled, the hurt showing on her face. “You can trust me!”

“I intended to protect us, you, myself!” My voice was loud, trembling. “I didn’t choose this!” 

Tears were brimming from our eyes. She acted first, hugging me. “Dummy, I told you I wouldn’t leave.” The tension dissipating. “No matter how crazy things got.” Reminding me as I cried into her. “We’re family, sisters.”

At times, Rose knew me better than I did, keeping me grounded. Years dimmed it, but it was there. Reasons to feel rejected if anyone discovered my abilities.

That was my greatest fear, loneliness.

She released me from her hold, bringing her hands to mine. Guiding us back to my bed, she sat with me. We wiped the dampness from our faces, laughing as we did. Relief washed over us as the air cleared. “Since that’s out of our systems,” she said, taking a deep breath. “So, this guy, Ben.” She eyed me, curious. “Who is he to you?”

* * *

I didn’t move, my mind disoriented.

Walking towards me, he left a space between us. He waited, looking at me with caution.

Before I could react, his arms circled me, unexpected. My body went rigid, his touch feeling foreign, but I didn’t recoil from it. The stress, uncertainty, his presence was overwhelming. Giving into him, I reciprocated at the end. “It’s been a while,” he said. The strength to not shed tears became useless. “I’ve missed you.” 

Stepping from him, I let go, trying to compose myself. “What are you doing here?”

His signature smirk spread across his face. “I wanted to see you, son.”

Staying casual was difficult for me. “Years passed since we last met.” Trying to accept him. “Where did you go?” 

He was struggling, deciding what to say. “Unfinished business.” Nonchalant, he shrugged, another well-known attribute of his. He did it at the most inappropriate times, exasperating me. But my focus was on his expression, which remained serious. “I won’t let it keep me from you any longer.”

The emotions I’ve kept buried betrayed me. Like any young, eager boy, I looked up to my father. He wasn’t home most times, the missing piece from my childhood. His absence left me empty, shrouded with insecurities, abandonment. Alone. 

Those thoughts brought my attention to another matter. “Who knows you’re here?” 

“Only you.” Rubbing his neck, he seemed apprehensive. “Let’s keep our meeting a secret.” But he knew what I implied. “In time, I will,” he promised. Before I could ask more, he raised his hands. “I’ve got somewhere to go.” Silencing me. “I apologize for the impromptu leave.” As if he knew, he patted my shoulder, making sure I understood. “See you around, Ben.”

The boy in me wanted to follow, afraid of him leaving once more. But my conscience held me back, telling me I’d regret it. I had to trust him.

Watching him disappear through the winter fog, I whispered to myself. “See you, dad.”

Reaching for my mobile, I searched for a number. Part of me felt disappointed. “It’s me.” Hearing it go to voicemail. “There’s something we should discuss.”

* * *

I needed more proof.

Inviting us all to Lower Manhattan, I booked a private room for dinner. As I told them my story, Rose didn’t mind hearing it a second time. I had them answer multiple questions, try small experiments. And the results were what I expected, reassuring me.

“Peanut, it’s an honor to have you do tests on us,” cheered Finn. He gave Poe a high-five. “This changes nothing! I just wish you didn’t keep it a secret.”

“Right?!” Rose agreed. They gave each other fives in unison.

Hiding the embarrassment, my mind warned me. “Quiet down, will you!” I’d regret involving the two of them. “It’s not a joke!”

Poe brought my attention to him, his smile widening. “What does he look like?!”

My face felt feverish. “Aw, you’re blushing! He must be gorgeous!” Rose taunted, giggling. “Come on, details!”

An unfamiliar joy exploded within me, scattering my senses. I did my best to control it as I collected my thoughts. “Well, h-he has black hair, medium-long in length.” The stuttering came out of nowhere. “B-beauty marks cover his face.” _Don’t forget to breathe._ “Facial hair added ruggedness to his unconventional features.” I didn’t realize it, my words wandering. “His eyes are intense, alluring.” Taking me to another world. “Hypnotizing.”

Rose grabbed my wrist, bringing me back from my trance. “Gentlemen, will you excuse us?” Before either could respond, we disappeared from our seats, leaving them baffled. 

Yanking us towards the ladies’ room, Rose peeked in, making sure we were alone. “Um, what are you doing?” Letting my hand fall, she rummaged through her purse.

Pulling out her phone, she scrolled through it, desperate. “Is this him?!” she asked, showing me a picture. My reaction was obvious, our disbelief paralleling each other. “Your soulmate is Ben Solo?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> *EDIT: If you were curious, I changed the picture for this chapter because there is a mood I'm trying to keep consistent with my story and my old image just wasn't doing it for me, lol, hope you don't mind :P
> 
> I hope you guys have been liking it so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> If you're interested, this is the playlist I made for my story :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> More chapters to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, much love <3


	4. Chapter 4

_“See you around, Ben.”_

The night was daunting, sitting alone in my home office. Rereading my drafts multiple times, my mind recalled none of it. My flow charts were incoherent, disorganized like my thoughts. Working on projects to no avail, I only contemplated current events. My fingers swept through my hair, frustrated. Crossing an arm over my eyes, I felt a burning, weary sensation. As my focus went to the ceiling, I reclined in my chair, detached.

 _“Rey,”_ she told me. _“We’ll see.”_

Her appearance in my mind was constant. An urge rushed through me, wanting her, significant. I was content with my fair share of women. No commitment. But she attracted me like no other. Yearning more, devoted.

Feeling defeated, I needed a break from it all.

* * *

“Shh, will you stay calm?!” My hands pushed her cell down, hiding it. “Someone might walk in here!” 

Controlling her volume seemed impossible. “Wait, he didn’t tell you his last name?!”

“No!” I whispered, my voice hoarse. Introducing himself without revealing his full name was intentional. I’d hide my identity to avoid situations like this. “I would’ve told you!”

“He’s one of New York’s best-selling authors!” Rose squealed. The pitch pierced my eardrums. “Have you read any of his books?! His story-telling is amazing!”

“Will you just-” I paused, needing to take a breath. “Please behave yourself, for my sake.”

* * *

Hiding from the public was deliberate. I valued my privacy, proximity to others.

Manhattan was astir. No matter the season, time, or place. People ventured for drinks, their schedule irrelevant.

“Thanks for being flexible, everyone!” _This voice._ “I promise to give more notice.” I followed it to a group of four as they exited a building. They appeared intoxicated, their movements unsteady. My mind didn’t imagine it, _her_ sensing me. “Ben,” she breathed, turning my way.

* * *

I couldn’t believe _he_ was here. “What are you staring at?” Rose asked. Ignoring everything, he walked towards us, his eyes on me. Nothing seemed to matter to him. Except my existence.

A group of men approached us, one continuing his stride closer. “Hey, cutie from the bar,” he called to Rose. “Rain check on our date?” 

“Didn’t I make myself clear?” She sighed, disgusted. “NOT interested!”

He disregarded her, grabbing at her waist. “Don’t act like that-” 

Finn shoved the man back. “You need to stop,” he warned. “Keep your filthy paws off her.”

Poe grabbed Finn by the arm. “Since we’re mature adults,” he asserted before turning to the men. “Please leave; we can put this behind us.” 

“Protecting your boyfriend,” mocked another.

A third man goaded. “Get him before he tries touching your-”

Punching him in the face, he snapped. “BEN, what are you-” I covered my mouth.

Hearing his name, Rose turned to us. “Mr. Solo?!” 

“Mr. Solo?!” Poe and Finn repeated. 

“BASTARD!” The last one charged at us, at Ben. “You’ll pay for-”

He didn’t make it, watching his body plummet beside the other. “There are exceptions,” Poe contradicted, shaking his hand. We all looked at him, stunned.

“RUN!” Rose yelled, sprinting off first. Guided by our instincts, common sense was no longer important.

“Damn, these guys are persistent!” Poe shouted, grabbing Finn and Rose by their wrists. “Let’s split up here!” 

Taking my hand, he gave me a crooked smile as we ran.

* * *

The stampeding of footsteps dispersed. “Where the fuck are they?!” Their breaths heavy.

Seconds later, they left in a hurry, their impatience clear. We didn’t move, staying hidden until the cursing became distant.

I didn’t notice how close she was, her warmth emitting. My body had her up against the wall, shielding her. Her head rested on my chest as her hands held the front of my coat. Realizing our nearness, she let go, pushing me back. “You’re insane, you know that?!” she blurted, recovering her breath. “When things spiral out of control, you appear!”

Shrugging, I answered her. “It seems like I’m the hero in this story.” Unable to stifle it, a chuckle left me. “Or the villain, depending on your perspective.”

Her amusement was short-lived before she eyed me, curious. “Your name is Ben Solo,” she noted. Drying the sweat from her forehead, she fumbled to readjust herself.

I expected she’d discover it on her own. “It is.”

The confession embarrassed her. “I have read none of your novels.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not offended.” I admired her bluntness. “Everyone has their preference.”

“Your career was unknown to me.” The flush spreading across her face. “And your status.”

She was a unique individual.

The night grew colder. “Lets converse more at my place.” But I wasn’t ready for her to leave. “It’s getting late.”

* * *

Leaning on opposite sides, we rode the elevator to his floor. Our eyes didn’t meet, nor did we speak. He had his hands in his pocket while I clasped mine in front of me.

_“There’s a spare room,” he offered. Declining wasn’t a choice. “We’re both exhausted. In the morning, I’ll drive you wherever you want.”_

_At that moment, my phone vibrated. Pardoning myself, I peered at it, reading the text. “Don’t be mad, but I chatted with Poe and Finn about your soulmate. They wouldn’t let it rest until I did. Don’t worry, girl, I got you covered, they won’t tell a soul! Since you’re not home yet, I’m guessing I’ll see you tomorrow? I’m not worried, I know you’re safe.”_

_She’d encourage this!_ I thought, rolling my eyes. _Of course, she would._

Keeping our distance, I followed him to the guest room. He remained by the doorway as I entered. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask me.”

The elegance of the space matched the rest of his home. He decorated it in black, in white.

Sitting on the bed, I faced him. “Thank you for your generosity.” Part of me wanted him to stay. “Good night, Ben.” Feeling disappointed, we ended it there.

Holding my gaze, he started closing the door. “Good night, Rey.” I noticed the subtle linger, telling me he felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys have been liking it so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> If you're interested, this is the playlist I made for my story :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> More chapters to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, much love <3


	5. Chapter 5

Unable to sleep, hours passed, thinking only about her.

Those lips, they could tell stories without speaking, her accent adding charm. Her beauty enticed me inside and out. She’s unbiased, approachable, and encouraging. Don’t let her petite physique fool you. She could defend herself, unmatched. She was ambitious, enduring, and compassionate. The traits of a warrior. Her eyes. They comprised the same hazel as mine. But with a tint of green. They were full of wonder, holding secrets of hardships and trials.

Like I have.

* * *

My thoughts were loud, keeping my mind awake. What was holding me back, knowing he was my soulmate? Was it fear of taking risks, dedication, or compromises? No, I knew, and it haunted me. It sounded cliché, but with my former relationships, they weren’t to blame. My insecurities stopped us from continuing. Me being the one to end it.

_Ben_

He appeared at crucial moments, rescuing me, protecting my life. Nor did he hide. Listening, sharing with an open mind, honest. I wasn’t alone. He was there like a kindred spirit. Our connection felt whole.

The longing that’s been missing.

* * *

Since resting wasn’t possible, I started the day, closing my door behind me.

“Ben, good morning,” she greeted after shutting hers. Hearing her speak my name brought unfamiliar emotions. It compelled me.

Thinking she’d stay in bed, I hadn’t prepared myself to see her. It was an alluring sight; her disheveled look. “Good morning, Rey.” It showcased her carefree nature. “Did you sleep well?”

The world appeared somber, but her smile illuminated it. “Not a wink.”

Our eyes met, staring. “Neither did I.” _A coincidence._

“Oh,” she breathed, tucking her hair behind her ears. I noticed she did this when nervous. An endearing habit.

Feeling the tension rising between us, I went to a different topic. “I wanted to surprise you with breakfast.”

She shook her head. “I would prefer to help.”

I tried negotiating. “You’re my guest.”

She looked at me, determined. “I won’t burn it if that worries you.”

Her comment made me chuckle. She was firm in her decision, but I kept in mind her inadequate skills at cooking. Reasoning with her was pointless, knowing she wouldn’t comply. “If you insist.”

* * *

My clumsiness was more than usual. It didn’t help that our fingers brushed when he passed the utensils. Or it would amuse him, watching me exert myself making eggs, bacon.

We ate on the white island in his kitchen. “This is delicious,” he complimented, smacking his lips. _I didn’t realize how full they were._ The thought warming me. Noticing him in his sleepwear, he was just as attractive.

“I’m glad you enjoy it.” He gave me more credit than I deserved over a simple breakfast.

“What are your plans today?” he asked, starting conversation.

“The clinic needs my help.” I responded with my mouth half full. “Five patients need testing and assessments done.”

The sun rose, highlighting the brown in his hazel eyes. Needing to look elsewhere, his gaze whelmed me. “Let me rephrase my question,” he said, wanting me to explain my schedule further. “When are you available?” That was unexpected. Turning back to him, his expression softened, his voice tempting. “It’s not ambiguous, I’m asking for your time.”

Words wouldn’t form, my mind making up excuses. “I-”

He grabbed my dishes from me. “I’ll be waiting.” Leaving me speechless. “Let me know where you want to meet.”

Watching him, I couldn’t help feel a certain way.

Images appeared in my mind. _Why do you keep running from what you deserve?_ Showing me what my future could be. _A chance at happiness?_

Not wanting him to see my tears, I hid it behind his back.

* * *

She gave an estimate of when she’d finish work. I was productive, planning for the evening. Reflecting, I realized this was the first preparation I’ve done for anyone.

Someone shouted my name. “Ben!” Catching my attention. Crossing the street, they seemed unaware of the vehicle heading straight towards them.

Caught in the light, he didn’t move, the horn blaring. I sprinted to him, my hand reaching for his arm. “DAD!” Pulling him off the road, our bodies tumbled to the ground. My eyes locked on the car. The driver didn’t stop, not considering his dangerous actions. “That piece of shit!”

He dared to joke. “Hey, watch your language, kid!” Helping him to his feet, I examined him as he brushed his coat. “I’ll be all right.” Collecting himself, he looked over to me. “You clean up well, son,” he expressed, fixing my collar. “Didn’t expect to see you here.” 

“The same to you.” Feeling suspicious, I questioned him. “Were you going somewhere?”

Knowing he wouldn’t answer, he shrugged, much to my annoyance. “I’d like to meet her one day.” Placing his hand on my shoulder, he patted it once before he left.

* * *

During my break, I texted Rose to help me grab fresh clothes from home. She gave my things to an associate, knowing I'd be busy. _“I’m guessing you won’t be back tonight either.”_ She wrote on a note. _“Have fun on your date!”_

Opening the bag, I felt anxious, my fingers shaking. _What was she thinking?_

Composing myself, I took a deep breath before changing into it.

Aware that I’d keep it confidential, he didn’t ask for my work’s location. He respected my privacy as I did with his.

“Ben!” He turned after I called him, his smile dazzling.

Forgetting my outfit was different, I felt self-conscious. He stared at me, making the heat rise in my body. “You look amazing.”

Beneath his trench coat, a fitting, black suit complimented his suave features. “So do you.” He didn’t bother to cover the cut swelling on his face. But he didn’t flinch either, letting me touch it. “What happened?!” 

Giving me a kind look, my heart skipped a beat. “It’s nothing,” he said, ending it there.

Sensing his guilt, I didn’t press, knowing it would upset him. In time, when he’s ready, he’ll tell me.

I knew all about waiting.

Not knowing what to expect, I followed him into the dim space of his home. He took my belongings, hanging them beside his. Next, he guided us to the dining area. “You did this yourself?!” Leaving me in awe.

Everything, the food to folded napkins, the overall display was beautiful.

He pulled out a chair, having me sit. “I hope you don’t mind an intimate setting,” he said, pushing me inward. He lit the remaining candles before sitting across from me.

I admired it all. “It’s perfect.” Including him.

* * *

It was hard to concentrate. She wore a simple, tasteful, black dress. Long sleeves covered her arms, up to her wrists, proper for the winter. The length stopped in the middle of her thighs, emphasizing her toned legs. “You’re a fantastic cook!” She was a sight to behold. “That was one of the best meals I’ve eaten!” The wine added color to her face. A tint appearing on freckled cheeks. Noticing me gazing at her, she turned her head towards the window, bashful. “What’s this?” she asked, curious. Standing from her seat, she walked over to the curtain-covered wall. She pulled it opened, revealing something that stunned her. “You have a private indoor pool?!”

Her reaction entertained me. “I do.”

Opening the door, she stepped beside the water. With her barefoot, she dipped it in, shivering from the contact. “It’s cold.”

I pushed a button on the controls. “It’ll warm up, give it a moment.”

* * *

We sat on the edge with our knees above the water. As I swirled my feet, he leaned back on his hands. “Tonight’s like a fantasy.” Putting my thoughts into words was difficult. What I felt was indescribable. “To think I’d experience anything comparable during my lifetime.”

The quiet lingered as I waited for him to speak. Linking his fingers, he shifted himself, his arms resting on his thighs. “I’d like for this to continue.” His eyes met mine, enchanting me. “Us.”

His comment made me smile. Looking to the water, I kicked it, playful. “We’ll see.” Content.

It was sudden, his arms beneath my body. He tossed me into the pool before I could protest.

* * *

Emerging from the water, she wiped at her eyes. “I can’t believe you!” she shouted, distressed. I tried not to chuckle as she was catching her breath. “Don’t just stand there, help me!”

Offering her my hand, she grabbed it with both of hers.

To my surprise, her strength pulled me into the pool with her. To think she could be so bold.

She was unpredictable, kept me guessing.

It was invigorating.

I swam to her as she was laughing. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist!” Like a song to my ears. “You must admit, my acting was flawless!” Grabbing her waist, I brought her body to mine. Her eyes went wide, shocked. “Ben, what are you-”

My mind wasn’t thinking, considering the consequences. It didn’t stop me, couldn’t, once my lips touched hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> I hope you guys have been liking it so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> If you're interested, this is the playlist I made for my story :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> More chapters to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, much love <3


	6. Chapter 6

All I did was stare. Afraid to blink as if he’d disappear. My lips didn’t move, frozen under his. It was difficult to breathe, my emotions overwhelming me. My heart was the only thing working. It was beating hard against my chest, reminding me I was alive. That this was real.

He moved his lips from mine, breathing on me. His eyes opened, gauging, longing. The spell they had me under, I felt light-headed. My legs would’ve given way if he wasn’t holding me so tight against him. This wasn’t new. But he, everything he made me feel, was. My arms moved towards him, willing on their own. They wrapped themselves around his neck, his lips on mine once more.

He became more eager, less cautious as I reciprocated this time. His mouth parted mine, an entrance into my senses. I felt his strength as he lifted me with ease, wrapping my legs around him. His scent intoxicated me, amplified by our connection. As his tongue touched mine, the taste was undeniable. I savored it like a sweet confection. The way my name escaped his lips with such deep affection. I could see our souls colliding, intertwined, becoming one.

* * *

Perfect, no word defined it more. The moment, the feeling, her. The way she fit in my arms. Her hands, gentle against my face. Yet harsh as they ran through, pulling at my hair. They seized my entire being. Her lips, her tongue. They were soft, hesitant, and impatient. I wanted to devour her. Hearing her breath hitch as my fingers roamed her body, I tested boundaries. Tracing the length of her slender neck, grazing the curve of her breasts. They continued over her firm waist to her strong thighs. She was beautiful, created from a dream.

“Ben, wait,” she breathed, our lips separating. Her hands stopped over mine, holding them there. 

My eyes opened to hers. They were searching, seeking. Was it regret, disappointment, lust? Everything I felt at that moment.

While we were recovering our breaths, I placed her back on her feet. My hands settled on her hips as hers slid to my chest. “Forgive me, I- _”_

“Your cut,” she said, a hand going to my face. It seemed instinctive, for fear of hearing my words. But I didn’t pursue it further, disregarding it. Feeling her finger trail beside it, I was admiring every little detail. The flutter of long lashes, her subtle smile, a tint on speckled cheeks. If I couldn’t have fallen deeper. “It might get infected if we don’t clean it.”

* * *

He draped a towel around me and one for himself. We were quiet as he guided us to his room. His hand rested on the doorknob, hesitating, making me feel nervous. _What are you trying to protect?_

Letting out a low breath, he glanced at me before opening it. 

Grey. 

It differed from the black and white that composited his home. The wall, the sheets, everything was this one neutral color. Two places at once. He stayed by the doorway as I stepped forward. Giving me time to realize what I was seeing. Without exchanging words, he walked past me, a gesture to follow him.

Sitting on the edge, he waited by the vanity. His eyes looked to the floor, his hands gripping the counter-top. Nearing him, he had placed the first aid by the sink. Rummaging through it, I could feel the tension growing. But my body ignored it, settling between his thighs. Cupping his jaw, I examined the wound. While applying the antiseptic and ointment, I was precise, thorough. We didn’t speak during the process as I finished with an adhesive strip.

Ending the silence, he confessed. “No one has seen my room.”

I closed the kit. “Should that surprise me?”

Seeing him relax, made me feel better, his hold on the counter lessening. “I suppose not,” he responded with a grin. “I’m sure you’ve dealt with stranger things.”

Reaching for his chin was natural. Tilting it, I checked the cut one more time. It was swift, his hand grabbing mine. As our eyes met, it was the first contact they’ve made since the grey surrounded us.

His gaze had my heart racing. “Do nothing reckless.” I pulled my hand from his, the sudden warmth enticing me. “Negligence will leave a permanent mark.”

* * *

My sweater flaunted her delicate, feminine beauty in mesmerizing ways. A glimpse of a spotted shoulder, the elongating of toned legs. It was maddening how irresistible she was. “This will do,” she said, taking a liking to it.

Ready to walk her to the guest room, she sauntered towards me. My eyes stayed on her, staring. “If it’s okay,” she expressed, stopping in front of me. Her voice was like velvet, the green in her eyes radiant. Placing a hand over mine, she motioned the door closed. “May I sleep here tonight?”

* * *

We laid on our sides, facing each other. Preoccupied by my thoughts, he noticed me wondering. “You seem distracted.”

Taking a deep breath, uncertain. “Black, white, and grey.” I needed to know. “These colors revolve around your life.”

He rolled onto his back. “Imagine a stallion,” he said. His eyes towards the ceiling. “It’s tied to a tree after sunset. Ensuring it doesn’t escape during the night. As dawn approaches, they free it. This appears harmless, only routine. Conditioning the stallion to stay while giving it the choice to go. But it can’t forget they bound it.”

Needing a moment, I understood him. “Like remembering scars, the pain inflicted upon them, it’s the same.”

He nodded. “The black, the white, are reminders.”

I was skeptical. “A defense mechanism?”

He shrugged. “Past situations have left me guarded.” A sigh escaping him. “It isn’t easy, trying to escape them.”

“You’re right.” He waited for me to elaborate, but I continued to question him. “And the grey?”

Shifting himself on his side, he looked at me. “Balance. The silver lining. Calm after a storm.” His eyes peaceful. “It helps me rest.”

The last line worried me. “Because you can’t without it.”

“It’s proven challenging.” Sensing my concern, he placed a chaste kiss on my lips. Not that I minded, it eased what I was feeling. “It’s burdensome, but it’s become a part of me.”

* * *

We could’ve continued into the early morning. Except drowsiness was taking a toll on us. She drifted off first, but the memory kept me awake, replaying itself. 

_I didn’t expect that. “I’m your what?”_

_Watching her, she panicked, anxious about saying more. “I know it sounds far-fetched.” But I wanted an explanation. “Seeing a string connected between two people.” Blinking at her. “Another thing is—” She hesitated mid-sentence. “I can see ghosts.” Waiting for my reaction._

_I chuckled, causing her to frown in embarrassment._ _“Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh.” Realizing I was trying to reassure myself more than her. “I can read minds.” She trusted me as I did with her. “And command them for a short duration."_

_I could tell her everything._

_After our confessions, we stared at one another in disbelief._

_Tears started streaming down her face. It troubled me to see her like this. “Why are you crying?” Wiping her cheeks, I tried to erase them._

_Her fingers settled over mine, showing it wasn’t sorrow that engulfed her. “I thought I was the only one.” It was a sign of relief._

_Joining them, I brought my lips to the back of her hand, promising. “You’re not alone.”_

_She moved her head forward, feeling her smile against mine. “Neither are you.”_

Once it faded, more thoughts consumed me. _I can’t believe it._ I brushed her hair to the side, wanting to see all of her. _No matter how faint, I’ve felt it since I was ten._ She fell asleep without letting go. _It was you. A beacon during a precarious period in my life._ Her hand holding mine. _Whether fated or by chance, I would’ve waited, searched until I found you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> I hope you guys have been liking it so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> If you're interested, this is the playlist I made for my story :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> More chapters to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, much love <3


	7. Chapter 7

_“I’ll see you later, Ben.”_

_Before I could open the car door, he reached for my chin, lifting it towards him. His hazel eyes held my gaze, mesmerizing me. It was hard enough to leave. “I hope work is pleasant for you, Rey,” he said before kissing me._

“You’re daydreaming, aren’t you?” I heard her speak, but my mind was elsewhere. It’s been consistent, my thoughts wandering. “For the 100th time.”

_What I’m feeling is genuine happiness?_

“Your drink will spill if it tilts any further!” Rose cautioned, pushing my cup upright. “Careful, it’s hot!” 

Shaking my head, I ended the memory, coming back to my senses. “Sorry.” My fingers trembled, placing it on the saucer.

“It’s only been a few days, but you can’t stop thinking of him.” My heartbeat quickened. “I get it, I’m ecstatic for you!” Using both hands, she pointed to herself. “But don’t forget, I exist!” She had an uncanny gift at brightening my mood. But she waited, as I knew she would. Stirring my tea, my eyes kept avoiding hers. “Not ready to talk about it?”

I lifted my cup for another sip. “My answer wouldn’t satisfy you.”

Aware of what my words meant, she sighed. “It’s because I know.”

Giving her a nod, I blew on the steam. “You do.”

Unrelenting, she stayed on topic. “And he doesn’t?”

I hesitated. “Not everything.” Telling her the truth.

She leaned on the table, crossing her arms. “What happened to your patients with soulmates?” she asked.

Her question surprised me, an unexpected revelation. My mind was reliving each journey I helped guide. “Despite the place, time, or circumstances. Through the hurt and pain.” Staring at my reflection, it rippled in the tea, wavering. “They reconciled.” Placing my cup on the saucer once more, my fingers wiped at the sudden tears. “He’s unlike anyone I’ve known.” My voice quivered. “I want this to be it.”

Rose placed her hands over mine, a gentle look on her face. “I’m sure everything will be okay, he’s your literal other half.” She gave me a wink. “Since childhood, luck hasn’t been an issue for you.”

* * *

He appeared uneasy, placing his drink on the coaster. “I didn’t expect to hear you,” he confessed. What he felt was mutual between us. “Or see you for a few months.” 

_“Who’s your closest friend?” she asked._

_To me, my answer was absolute. “You.”_

_She doubted it. “You’re serious?” I heard the ridicule in her voice._

_“I don’t trust people much.” She stopped herself from saying more, not prying further._

_My eyes stayed on the road, but I could feel her fidgeting beside me. “Well, I hoped we’d be more-”_

_Placing my hand over hers, our fingers knotted. “We are.” Feeling her hold tighten, she acknowledged the truth behind my words._

_“Having more interactions will help you,” she advised. “Whether you want it.”_

_I chuckled, smiling. “Sure, I’ll keep that in mind.”_

“I wanted to discuss future projects with you.” I admitted it. “Your opinion’s appreciated.”

He stared at me, his eyes speculating. “I’ve been fond of your writing since post-secondary.” Armitage seemed reluctant, disclosing this to me. “After we graduated, I considered it an honor when you hired me.”

Dealing with praise was hard for me. “Direct your gratitude to our publicist.” I’m rather awkward about it. “It was her idea.”

He scoffed. “She says you’re a fucker for the lack of invitation.” That summed her up well.

Brief images appeared in my mind. Showing us as university classmates once more. “I will apologize to Phasma later.” 

* * *

“It’s been a while seeing you both in uniform.” Walking beside me, Rose nodded. 

“I hope you’re okay,” Rose expressed to Finn, worried. “Coming to dinner after a long shift.”

Approaching behind us, Finn positioned himself in the middle. He threw his arms around our shoulders, pulling us towards him. “I’d hate to miss out on quality time with the squad!” he cheered, making us laugh.

I turned to Poe. “You’re on patrol tonight, right?” 

He sighed. “Yup,” Poe answered, ending with a smile. “But it’s nice that you guys stayed until I have to go.”

“I understand how it feels,” Rose complained. "Since I work in a hospital."

Poe patted Finn on the shoulder. “At least our schedules and day-offs correspond.” He dragged Finn back, taking his spot between Rose and I. “To be honest, I’d get sick of that guy!” 

“Excuse me, Officer!” Finn teased.

“Officer,” Poe repeated, giving him a roguish smirk.

* * *

“You voiced, I’m a fuck.” She was the rational one in the group. “I promise to inform you next time.” Unlike with Armitage, our connection had more shared respect. “Have a good night, Phasma.”

His voice startled me. “Who are you chatting with, son?”

Ending the call, I frowned at him. “Are you tracking me?”

“What’s with the accusation?” He sounded offended. “I saw you standing there.” That irritating shrug of his. “Thought I’d say hi.”

Before they could walk into him, I grabbed his shoulders, moving him to the side. There were three of them. All reeking of alcohol, unaware and careless. “Watch where you’re going, assholes.”

They stopped, turning to us. “What did you say, you bitch?!” one shouted.

“Kid, that mouth of yours,” he muttered, shaking his head. “So much like your mother’s.”

* * *

My body moved on its own, running.

“Rey, where are you going!?” Rose cried.

_I felt him._

I heard Finn’s voice yelling after hers. “What is she doing?!”

_Ben_

“Follow her!” Poe instructed.

_He was in danger._

* * *

Two of the men charged forward. Behind me, one got their arms around my neck. Unable to control his strike, the other aimed at my abdomen, my face. Their inebriated conditions gave me an advantage. Freeing myself, I grasped his jacket, throwing him toward the other. Their bodies collided before falling to the ground. “Go!”

“You’re not doing this yourself!” he argued. The last man joined them, shifting the odds higher against me.

Thinking about protecting him exhausted my physical and mental state. “LEAVE!” If they were to harm him.

Hesitating, he understood me; it did nothing to stay. He glanced at me one more time before retreating.

* * *

Nearing the commotion, I saw him. He was alone, outnumbered. Everything blurred, realizing what I feared becoming a reality.

“BEN!” He looked my way after I called his name. Desperate, he pushed his way through, sprinting towards me. Collapsing into my arms, we fell to our knees. “Are you okay?!”

“Don’t move!” Poe commanded. Upon seeing him, they fled. He stopped where we were, analyzing the situation. “I’m going after them.”

Finn stood beside him. “I’ll go with you.”

Rose did a quick scan of Ben, checking his pulse and breathing. “We’ll be fine,” she assured them. They gave us a nod before continuing their pursuit. She turned to me, disconcerted. “What’s with this guy and fights?!”

Resting his head against my shoulder. “He has good intentions.” I could feel his breath on my neck. “Our apartment is close by.” His conscious state weakening. “It’s the safest place for him.”

Getting him there was difficult. It helped that he could stand on his own. Using my shoulder as an anchor, Rose had her arm around his waist. We took him straight to my room, having him lie on my bed. “I didn’t think we’d make it,” Rose groaned. “I mean look at him, he’s a giant compared to me!”

Feeling anxious, waiting, I watched as she examined him. “Thanks for tending to him.” I was glad we didn’t need the ambulance involved. He would’ve wanted to avoid that.

“We’re lucky it wasn’t an emergency,” she said, finishing the process. “A nurse like me can handle the minor things.” Letting me take over, she spoke her mind. “I’m impressed he took on three men,” she whispered, commending him. “A talented writer, gorgeous and bad-ass?! Like damn, girl, you got it good!”

After she closed the door, I heard him chuckled. “You’re awake?!”

“Your friend is cute,” he complimented. “What’s her name?”

Dimming the lights, I grabbed a chair, pulling it to the bedside. “Rose.” Holding out two small tablets, I offered them to him. “Take these, they’re quick dissolve.”

“What is it?” he questioned, hesitating.

“Melatonin.” He looked wary, but I encouraged him. “We both know you won’t rest well unless you do.”

With a sigh, he agreed, taking the medicine without hesitation. “Is she your closest friend?”

I nodded, smiling at him. “She is.”

“Rose seems wonderful,” he said, closing his eyes. “You’re fortunate to have each other.” Leaning on the bed with my elbows, I grabbed his hand, bringing it to my face. I was careful, using my fingers to brush his hair. “Are you planning to join me or continue sitting there?” Seeing him use the rest of his energy to protest made me laugh. “Come here.” He shifted his body, giving me more room. “There’s enough space.”

Easing myself next to him, I teased. “So bossy.” Resting my head on his chest, his heart was steady as it beat beneath my hand. “I’ve missed you.”

His lips pressed against my forehead. “If it were simple to convey my feelings for you.” He fought the drowsiness long enough to kiss me before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> This chapter took a little longer than I expected. I was doing some research and with everything that’s going on...
> 
> Character(s) info:
> 
> Enters Phasma :D who is 36 
> 
> I just truly wish you nothing but the best during these crazy times <3
> 
> I hope you guys have been liking it so far!
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> If you're interested, this is the playlist I made for my story :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> More chapters to come!
> 
> Thanks for reading, much love <3
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> Thank you, much love~


	8. Chapter 8

_Rey_

Waking, I couldn’t feel her at my side. My body was sore, preventing me from searching for her. Sitting upright, my eyes adjusting, I scanned the space.

Paper lanterns dangled from the ceiling and fairy lights strung the forest-green walls. White, transparent drapes hung over her bed like a canopy. Plant-life thrived, placed in every corner of the room. I saw knickknacks here and there. She showcased them like trophies or treasures. The morning light hit a sun-catcher, scattering fractal colors everywhere. On the wall flush to the bed, she pinned images to resemble a clothesline. The prints were random, varying from people, places to abstract art. This displayed her personality in the utmost ways.

“I guessed right,” she said, guiding my attention to her. “You wouldn’t stay asleep much longer.” Setting the breakfast tray on the nightstand, she sat beside me. “How are you feeling?” she asked, holding my hand.

“Better.” Placing my lips on her fingers, I teased. “Is it okay knowing where your apartment is?” 

She laughed. “Why bother hiding?” Her eyes softened, giving me a gentle smile. “There’s no secret between us.”

* * *

He was looking over my photo wall when I returned. “What’s the story?” He pointed to a picture. “I’m fascinated.” 

“It’s a destination on my bucket list.” Pulling it from the clip, I sat with him. “Until I’m done repaying student loans.” A sigh escaped me. “Money is an issue.” 

“Perfect timing,” he said, taking the print from me. “A three-day weekend is plenty.”

Shaking my head, I tried to dismiss the idea. “Ben, I can’t.” 

“We’re going, Rey” he asserted, attaching the photo back to the string.

When he’s adamant, arguing was useless. “Only if we split the expenses.” 

Raising an eyebrow, he questioned me. “And bury yourself in more debt?” His point made mine sound illogical. “Why can’t I treat you?” 

I defended myself. “Our relationship doesn’t change my independence. I’m not someone who relies on people, including my boyfriend.” His eyes went wide, staring. _Shit._ “Um, did I say something?” 

He struggled with his composure. “You called me your-” 

Feeling flustered, my words jumbled. “Well, I assumed. That we were-” 

Raising a hand, he silenced me. “No one has labeled me as a boyfriend,” he confessed. 

I concluded he was messing with me. “You’ve been with women.” The only acceptable explanation.

With a casual nod, he further admitted it. “I have.”

I blinked. “Oh, I see.” Realizing what he meant.

Taking my chin in his hand, he distracted my mind from the topic. “I like it, being your official romantic partner.” His lips were so close. “It means you’re mine.” A fleeting kiss. “And I’m yours.” 

* * *

She gripped my hand, looking nauseous. “Take-off making you feel ill?” 

Breathing once more, her fingers loosened their hold. “I’m fine.” After the turbulence settled, she relaxed. “Why are we going to Ontario?”

While I reviewed our schedule, she leaned back in her seat. “It’s different across the border.” 

“You’ve seen it from both sides?!” she asked in awe. 

Her childlike wonder made me smile. “Why not show you the exceptional view?” 

Crossing her arms, she let out a huff. “Were first-class tickets necessary?” 

I gave her a side-glance. “Are you complaining?” 

“It seems excessive,” she said, frowning. 

“I’m willing to pay more for comfort.” Reclining next to her, my arms rested behind my head. “That’s why I’m handling the flights and accommodations.” 

It bothered her. “I would prefer to compensate.” But I’m glad she understood. 

Closing the laptop, my lips touched hers. “Forgive me.” The rosy tint on her cheeks glowing. “I’m declining this time.” 

* * *

“Thank you for dinner,” he expressed as we rode the elevator to our room. 

“It’s the least I could do.” He was beyond generous. I’m learning to appreciate him more with every passing second. “Driving here must have exhausted you.” Following him into the suite, the falls caught my eye; it was breathtaking. “This is amazing!” 

He placed our luggage in the closet. “I’m glad it suits your fancy.” Turning around, I hadn’t notice how intimate the room was. The wall between the bed and bathroom was open like a window. “I’m drawing a bath,” he said, my face reddening as he undressed.

* * *

She refused to look at me, keeping her focus elsewhere. The lighting was dim, but her constant blush was prominent. Closing my eyes, the last thing I saw was her sitting at the table. 

It woke me, a stir in the water. Folding her legs in, her arms rested on the ledge of the open wall.

With her back to me, sensing uncertain anticipation, I moved forward.

* * *

Apprehensive, I held my breath, not expecting the sudden contact. His touch was gentle, careful, hesitant. Biting my bottom lip, his finger traced the length of my spine. “I wasn’t sure you’d join me,” he said, his voice low.

Feeling bold, I turned to him, our eyes meeting. “You didn’t ask.” 

“I wanted to leave the invitation open.” Using a cloth, he washed my shoulders with the surrounding foam. “But I hoped the same.” 

I heard him taking a rinse in the separate shower.

 _You’ve seen men naked._ I couldn’t bring myself to look when he stepped out first. _You’re only embarrassing yourself._ I deserved a medal for not peeking. 

Using the tub's shower-head, I sprayed off the remaining lather.

Hearing him leave the bathroom, my body froze, exposed. He didn’t comment, say a word as he walked past me in a bathrobe. Flushing like crazy, I continued to cleanse myself, watching the water drain.

Once I finished, he grabbed my hand through the wall. Carrying me in his arms, he spun us before throwing me onto the bed.

* * *

“Wait, Ben,” she said, her fingers pushing on my chest.

It disappointed me, but I would not pressure her. “We won’t if you’re not ready.”

Pulling the blanket over herself, she clenched the sheets. “May I show you something?”

Confused, I studied her expression. Realizing what she was asking of me. “Anything.”

Her hand trembled as she held it in the air, waiting.

Tentative, I reached out, connecting us.

_“We left Paige!” a child yelled, her voice quivering. '_ _Rey, is that you?'_

_She grasped Rey by the arm. “She told us run!” the other girl shouted, tears in her eyes. “We’ve got to hide!” '_ _Rose?'_

_Following them, they led me to an abandoned building._

_The thudding of heavy footsteps slowed to a stop, making my chest ache. The shadow of two men approaching. 'No.' They were searching, moving closer. 'Leave this place, you bastards.' Turning to where I stood, they faced me like they heard my voice._

_Feeling a lifetime passing, I stopped breathing, my blood going cold._

_His hand shot through my body like a ghost. “Ow!” Rose cried. “Let me go!”_

_She kicked his groin, bringing the man to his knees. “Don’t touch her!” Rey shouted._

_They dashed for an exit, trying to escape. But one of them captured her. “REY!” Rose shrieked._

_“STAY BACK, ROSE!” Helpless, she glanced at Rey one last time before running._

_Knowing I couldn’t, I tried to protect her, only to watch tears streaming down her face._

Unable to tolerate the memory, I broke free, my hand jolting from hers. “Ben, I’m so sorry,” she muffled. “I’m filthy, a nobody." Her sobs broken. "I come from nothing.”

I held in the anger, controlling my emotions. “What are you saying?”

She wiped her face, continuing to be apologetic. “I understand if you no longer want me.”

Despite her past, she dared to degrade herself. “There is no one.” Someone so incredible. “Except you.”

Pulling her towards me, my lips crashed into hers.

 _It doesn’t matter to me, your history. But don’t you doubt us for an instant._ I made a silent promise. _You are everything to me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> June was crazy... I was stuck between volunteering my time to make reusable masks for front-line workers to finishing off the school year teaching. For everyone waiting, I thank you for your patience and ongoing support. It keeps me motivated!
> 
> I continue to wish you nothing but the best during these crazy times <3
> 
> I’ve also created a playlist for this story if you’d like to have a listen :D  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=j6iBl_6BS5CZBSBLT-qIrg
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> Happy readings! More chapters to come!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> Thank you, much love~


	9. Chapter 9

The morning light woke me, bright and warm.

His breath was soft against my nape, his arms hugging me close. With my back pressed to his broad chest, I felt the slight beating of his heart. He fell asleep cupping my left breast, monitoring mine.

Attempting not to wake him, my body freed itself from his hold. Sitting upright, I turned to him, his handsome features continuing to rest. Wanting to freshen up, I kissed his cheek before making my way to the bathroom.

Washing my face, something caught my eye in the mirror. Spotting the evidence, my cheeks flushed, reliving last night.

_Those full lips left marks where they could, bruising my skin. His tongue tasting, his mouth consuming. His firm hands caressed every inch of me, taking possession of it. The way he spoke my name amidst it all._

_“I want you, Rey.”_

_With utter fervor and passion._

_“I’ll take your everything.”_

The thoughts made my knees weak, my hands grasping the counter for balance. _Calm yourself._ I closed my eyes. _Remember to breathe._

Next, his arms swept beneath me. “Ben!” My feet leaving the floor.

* * *

Placing her on the sheets, she blew the few strands of hair covering her face. “Someone’s impatient,” she teased as I wrapped us within the blanket.

Feeling lethargic, my mind not yet awake, I mumbled. “You sure were taking your time.”

Laughing while doing so, she repositioned herself, facing me. “I was trying not to disturb you.” Her fingers brushed along my jawline. “You slept well?”

I ran my thumb across her swollen bottom lip. ' _I’m yours, Ben.' "_ The first out of my bedroom.” Her mouth opened a partial way, her breath on my fingers. “Only because of you, sweetheart.”

* * *

My breathing stopped. “What did you call me?”

“I apologize.” He looked bewildered. “Shouldn’t I have?”

Realizing what I said, I shook my head, embarrassed. “Sorry, I meant-” Taking his hand, I brought it to my lips. “Please do.”

Seeing him smile, I kept my recurring dream, this unsettling feeling.

_I’ll come back for you, sweetheart._

To myself as he kissed me.

_I promise._

* * *

“Are you sure lunch was enough?” She appeared frustrated. “You could’ve mentioned we made breakfast reservations.”

Kneeling, I helped tighten her skates. “I canceled in advance.” Leaning forward, I whispered in her ear. “I’d choose hours of intimacy with you above anything.”

“I’m not great on the ice”, she confessed, clearing her throat. Chuckling, I noted how quick she veered from my remark. “I went with Rose to Central Park a few times.” The cold made her cheeks rosy. “She’d beg until I agreed to go.” But I could see the tint reddening.

Pulling her from the bench, she was unsteady. “I could teach you.” My hands went to her waist as she held onto my arms. “Guide you in areas needing improvement.”

“You’re talented at skating?” The sarcasm behind her words. “Why am I not surprised?”

Adjusting her scarf, I took her hand, leading us to the outdoor rink. “You underestimate your ability.”

* * *

Finishing my dessert, I continued raving about the day’s events. “The tour of the falls was spectacular.”

The candle flickered between us. “Exploring the ice caverns was enchanting.” The flame giving him a luminous glow. “The mystical aura of it.” His presence warming me. “An ethereal beauty.”

I nodded, admiring the sight of him. “It was magical.”

* * *

Placing her napkin on the table, she seemed satisfied. “I hope you enjoyed your dinner.”

“It was delightful.” Staring out the window, her eyes glistened. “The restaurant’s view is stunning from here.” Watching her, I waited in anticipation. The moment she saw Niagara illuminate. “Ben, are you seeing this?!” she gasped.

“Come with me.” I offered her my hand. “There’s one last gift to show you.”

* * *

Wary, my fingers gripped his. “Having my eyes covered is rather inhibiting.” My heart pounding.

He laughed. “It’s for stimulating your senses,” he joked before reassuring me. “Trust me, Rey.” Focusing, I heard a door slide open, closing. Walking forward, our feet clanged against the hard floor, stepping on metal. “Sit here.”

Something shifted. We were moving in a slow, upward, circular motion. “Ben, what’s happening?” He sat beside me, his hand not leaving mine. Using the other, he removed the blindfold.

“Wow!” Nearing the top, I could see the full array of colors displayed within the falls. “So beautiful.”

“I agree.” Turning to him, his eyes were on me, gazing. “Gorgeous.” Bringing his head close, he cupped my face, our noses touching. “Are you content?”

It surprised him. “The happiest I’ve been.” My sudden kiss.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered between our lips, embracing me. “Nothing can compare.”

His words elicited harbored emotions.

_Don’t be afraid._

Making the dream echo once more.

_I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> With school opening in a few weeks, I’ve been busy preparing for the new year. It will be different, but I’m optimistic. At least, I’m trying to be :P
> 
> Thank you for your patience and ongoing support. It keeps me motivated!
> 
> I wish you nothing but the best during these crazy times <3
> 
> I’ve also created a playlist for this story if you’d like to have a listen :D
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> Happy readings! More chapters to come!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> Thank you, much love~


	10. Chapter 10

She lied on top of me, her soft skin against mine. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Bringing her hands to my chest, she rested her chin on them. “I want to stay,” she said, letting out a huff.

I chuckled. “We’ll come back.” My hand slid down her side. “It can become an annual trip.” Settling on a bare waist.

Her smile was radiant. “You’re certain?!” The green in her hazel eyes shining.

My fingers swept through her hair, the brown strands cascading. “I’ll follow where you go, sweetheart.”

Her eyes changed, wondering. “Why do you call me that?” she asked, running her fingertips along my beard.

Anchoring my head with an arm, I saw the fine details of her body scape. “My father used to say it to my mother.” The afterglow starting from her head. “I haven’t said it to anyone.” To her toes. “Just you.”

She was breathtaking.

“I’m flattered.” Her expression softened, the tint on her cheeks everlasting. “You put me above many.”

My nose touched hers. “That won’t change.” Reaching for the light, I dimmed it. “We should sleep.” Pulling the blanket to cover us. “Our flight is early in the morning.”

But she didn’t move. “Or,” she whispered in my ear. Her angelic silhouette captivating me. “We could make the most of tonight.”

Unable to resist, I rolled her onto the bed, our souls becoming the same. “And countless to come.”

With my mobile on silent, I missed a call, receiving a muted message.

_“Please, visit me the instant you’re available.”_

An overdue conversation waiting.

_“Miss you.”_

* * *

She was helping me empty the last of my luggage. “Since I didn’t receive a text during your travels.” Rose gave me an approving smile. “I took it as a good sign.” Her frown following it. “You thought of me though, right?”

Teasing, I motioned a pinch. “Just a tad.”

“Liar!” Grabbing a cushion, she smacked me with it. “But I got to give him credit.” Her voice was gentle, encouraging. “That’s the longest you’ve survived without me.”

Sweeping my hair behind my ear, I felt embarrassed. “I trust him.” And elated.

She grasped my hand, startling me. “Those are 100% teeth marks!”

Pulling back, I covered it, realizing what she saw. “Mind your business!” The heat on my face rising.

She gave me a wink. “I bet he’s amazing in the sack!”

“You’re exasperating!” Laughing along, it was my turn to hit her with a pillow. “Why are you like this?!”

* * *

Staring through the window, my sense of time was hazy as I held onto my phone.

_Ben_

Feeling lost, she appeared, a beacon in my mind.

_Linking our fingers, she laid beside me, her eyes gazing into mine. “After Paige died of complications, they rescued us from the streets, Rose and I.” I could see them brimming. “We found solace, shelter in a foster care.” But she blinked them back. “We refused adoption if they didn’t take us both.” I tried to sympathize. “So Rose and I stayed.” Wishing I could have taken her place. “Diligent in our studies, we tried for a better future.”_

_Someone like her. “I was an orphan.” Deserved everything. “A nobody.”_

_She didn’t break. “But I held onto hope.” Continuing despite it all. “It led me to Rose, Paige, Finn, Poe.”_

_With strength to cry, smiling. “And you, Ben.”_

_She placed a hand on my cheek, steady. “I regret nothing.”_

_I’ve not known anyone with such fortitude._

Saying her name out loud. “Rey.” Gave me courage to press the call button.

* * *

“I don’t feel special,” Rose pouted in disappointment. “He knows just as much.”

Giving her a small smile. “He is my-”

“Soulmate, destiny, blah, blah,” she interrupted, rolling her eyes. “I know.” But her next question. “Have you said it then?” Left me speechless. “That you love him?”

My ringtone made us jump.

Picking up my cell, I answered it. “Hello?”

“It’s me, sweetheart.”

I let out a breath. “Ben.”

“You serious?!” Rose mouthed, hysterical. “You had the long weekend with him!” Her back falling onto the couch, defeated.

 _His voice._ “Are you busy later?” he asked with subtle urgency. Uncertain, I looked at Rose continuing to lie there, giving the middle finger. “Please, apologize to Rose.” I could see him grinning on the other line. “You’ll be accompanying me this evening.”

* * *

“Didn’t you say it’d be days?” She held my hand in her lap as I drove. “Until your schedule was free?”

Nodding, I couldn’t contain my smile. “I assume that means you’re glad to see me earlier.”

I saw her blushing from the window’s reflection. “We’re heading to The Solana District?” she asked, admiring the surrounding view. “May I know why?”

Keeping my anxiety hidden, I brought her fingers to my lips. “There’s someone who wants me to introduce you.”

* * *

With my hand in his, he guided us towards the entrance. But my nerves were in constant distress. _Ben, are these feelings yours?_

Nearing the golden gates, there stood two figures. A man and woman.

The contrast between them was prominent.

Dressed in uniform, a protector, the man towered above us.

And the woman was beautiful. She wore a gown representing high status, influential.

Stepping forward, her voice was full of warmth as she called him. “Ben.” Taking him into her arms. “The same handsome man I remember.”

Surprised, he hesitated before accepting her welcome. “You look well yourself.”

Moving from him, she turned to me. “Who’s our guest?”

I stuttered, answering her. “I’m R-Rey.”

“Ben told me you’d be joining us.” She held my hands in greeting. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

My body trembled, my fingers shaking. “The honor is mine.” It troubled me not knowing. “I hope you don’t find me rude.” The truth behind their relationship. “But how do you know each other?”

Glancing at him, she shook her head, puzzling me further. “He hasn’t mentioned me yet?” I knew all about her. “My name is Leia.” Except this one significant detail. “I’m his mother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> I came up with 'Solana' thinking I was clever in combining 'Solo' and 'Organa' together. Realizing it's a name that means 'sunlight' in Spanish/Latin too! Cool~ lol
> 
> Thank you for your patience and ongoing support. It keeps me motivated!
> 
> I wish you nothing but the best during these crazy times <3
> 
> I’ve also created a playlist for this story if you’d like to have a listen :D
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> Happy readings! More chapters to come!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> Thank you, much love~


	11. Chapter 11

“Dinner was delicious,” Rey expressed. Throughout the night, her awe didn’t cease. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Your manners are excellent,” my mother complimented. “But you don’t have to be so formal, my dear.”

Flustered, she gripped my fingers beneath the table. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

She laughed. “Don’t apologize.” Turning to me, she gave me a look. “If you don’t mind, son.” One that I knew well. “I’d like a few minutes alone.” I heard Rey gulp beside me, her anxiety growing.

Understanding each other, I stood from my seat. “Meet me in the music room.” Lifting her chin, my lips touched hers.

Attempting to stay calm for us both, Rey watched me as I left.

* * *

Resembling a palace, the mansion’s decor was lavish.

“Please, be at ease with me,” Leia reassured. I followed her into the living space. “This isn’t an interrogation.”

Conscientious, I sat across from her, a table dividing us. “I wanted to make a good impression.”

“If it comforts you.” She gave me a kind smile. “You’re the first.”

I felt my cheeks warm. “Oh?”

“It must be serious.” Grabbing a kettle, she poured us tea. “If he introduced you to me.”

“Seems when Ben’s involved.” I fidgeted with my fingers. “Your opinion is important to him.”

“I trust in his choices.” Her tone defensive. “My son is quite the ideal man. A mother’s instinct is only natural.” Lifting her cup, she took a sip. “To believe no one is good enough.”

Trying to keep my hands steady, I drank from mine; the truth flowing out. “I agree.” She seemed surprised by my response. “My worth isn’t comparable, but-” Placing it back on the saucer, my eyes met hers, determined. “If he continues to choose me.” This unexpected bravery challenging her. “I’ll stay by his side.”

* * *

Memories found their way to me. Manifesting before my eyes.

Passing by the conservatory.

_Peeking behind the wall, I saw them arguing. “He didn’t mean to harm anyone!”_

_“Leia, we talked about this!” he shouted. “Ben’s ability must stay a secret.”_

_“Self-defense isn’t a crime!” she protested._

_“There’s more at stake here.” His eyes narrowed. “It will change everything.” His voice harsh. “People won’t understand.”_

_Her head dipped into his shoulder, hiding her face. “My son doesn’t deserve this, Luke.” Covering her tears. “The same burden we endured as children.”_

_Holding her in his arms, his lips went to her forehead. “Or a blessing.” Suppressing his own. “One day, he’ll realize it and know for himself.”_

Sitting in the alcove.

_“You wanted to chat, Ben?” Fitting himself into the space, he sat with me. “Are you okay?”_

_Setting my book down, I shrugged. “Remember that dream I told you about?” Keeping my head low. “Where should I start?”_

_“Begin where you want,” he reassured me, giving a crooked smirk. “Doesn’t matter if you repeat it.”_

_Hesitating, I let out a breath. “I’m lost, Uncle Chewie.”_

_He stroked his beard, pondering. “Do you know why?” he asked._

_My thoughts wandered. “I’m trying to find someone missing.”_

_Nodding his head, he questioned me further. “What does your gut tell you?”_

_Closing my eyes, the ache in my chest fluctuated. “It may take me years, but-” This sensation, unfamiliar. “It’ll be worth it when I do.”_

_His giant fingers ruffled my hair. “Take a step first.” Comforting me. “The path will appear later.”_

Standing in front of my old bedroom.

_“Ben, please,” she called. “Let me help.”_

_“Stay back!” Sitting on the floor, my arms wrapped around my legs. “The dark might take you with me.”_

_She tried to reach me. “Remember the light, focus on it.” I closed my eyes, concentrating. “What do you see?”_

_Lifting my head, I answered her. “You, mom.”_

_The warmth of her voice gave me strength. “Open the door, sweetie.” Feeling hopeful. “I’m here.”_

Stopping in the atrium, I looked towards celestial skies.

* * *

A beautiful melody guided me down long corridors. “I’ve wanted to learn since I was a child.” Bringing me to him.

“My mother taught me when I was young.” Hearing the last note fade, he stood from the grand piano. “This was my favorite place.” Pressing a button, the instrument continued to play. “Your discussion must have gone well.”

He joined me in the middle, taking my hand in his. “I have my way with words.”

Pulling me to him, he led us. “I didn’t get the chance earlier.” Our bodies swaying as he whispered. “To tell you how stunning you are.”

Peering at him with wary eyes. “You didn’t say many things tonight.” My heart conflicted. “Why is that?”

And he knew. “Did my silence upset you? That there’s something to hide?” Sensing my agitated feelings. “The simple truth is.” It fueled his emotions. “I’m not ready to share certain stories.”

“Like about your mother? How she is someone of noble stature?” Unable to hold my tongue, I was inconsiderate, triggering. “That you have a legacy? An empire signed to your name?”

Removing his hands from me, he put them in his pockets. “Yes,” he answered, his eyes piercing. “You should respect that.”

Turning from me, I grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving. “Ben, forgive me.” Overwhelmed, my eyes welled up, stinging. “You had this entire life before me. I’m insignificant. Someone who’s only in the way-”

He interrupted me. “Believe me when I say this.” Kissing me. “You’re part of me as much as I’m yours.” His forehead resting on mine. “Nothing will make me want you less.”

_Her expression appeared thoughtful. “Managing a century old estate wasn’t my decision. It was a responsibility passed to me. My birthright. I could’ve declined, but knowing I’d have peace of mind raising a child, I took it. That was the only reason.” She reminisced. “It didn’t come without its disadvantages. The security and fortune it brought was nice. Yet it’s meaningless if it puts a strain between me and my family.” Becoming melancholic. “I’m not the sort to regret anything. But the time lost with my son. That is one of them.”_

Wrapping my arms around his neck, he lifted me.

_Unsure of her intentions, I questioned. “Why are you telling me this?”_

_She shrugged, smiling. “Intuition, I suppose.”_

Our lips meeting once more.

* * *

“It was nice to see you, Uncle Chewie.”

“I’ll remember to send your regards to Luke.” He loosened his firm hold on me. “Visit more, okay?”

Nodding, I promised. “Sure.”

Facing her, I pulled her towards me, unhesitating. As I lowered my head, whispering. “I’m sorry, mom.”

She went rigid, shocked by the suddenness of my actions. “No, I am, Ben,” she said, tightening her arms around me.

Moving back, I let go first. “I told him to see you.” Searching her teary eyes. “When he gets the chance.”

_“Did they hurt you, kid?”_

_Shaking my head, I clenched my fists. “I used my powers before they could.” Trying to erase this terrible feeling. “I wanted to attack them, dad.”_

_He sighed. “Part of me wished you did.” Placing a hand on my shoulder, he pulled me close. “But what next?” His voice quiet. “Are the consequences worth it?” With his head against mine. “Whether right or wrong, your choices, the person you become.” His arms circled me. “You must decide, son.”_

_Sensing her behind the wall, listening, she was trying to hide her heavy heart._

“Peter.” She spoke to him as we were leaving. “He saw Han.”

* * *

I had to ask. “Uncle Chewie?”

Sweeping a hand through his wet hair, he chuckled. “A character created for this space game we played during my childhood.” Resting in the shallow end. “Been calling him that since then.”

I swam to him, kneeling between his legs. “That’s adorable.”

Reflecting on the night, my worries resurfaced. “What’s wrong?” Making him notice.

Unable to meet his eyes, I confessed. “Knowing more about you, realizing how opposite our lives are. You want to continue this relationship.” Glancing at him, hesitant. “Why?”

Grabbing my waist, he placed me on his lap, our bare skin colliding. It was so gentle. The way he ran his parted lips from the middle of my breasts. “There were women who tried to blackmail me after they discovered my secrets.” To the bottom of my chin. “Others avoided me, lied. You being a psychologist is no excuse. It’s because I trust you. I’m a private individual, but I showed you everything. It took lengths to prevent my information from going public. Trying to protect those that matter most to me.” Cupping my face, he brought his head to mine. “Do you think another woman could understand? And accept me for who I am? Without the betrayal, the deception?” Leaving soft pecks along my jawline, he hummed into me. “There is no one like you.”

_“Have you said it then?” Rose asked._

No longer able to contain myself, I kissed him; the words escaping my lips. “I love you, Ben.”

Pulling back from me, he stopped us. “You said it first,” he breathed. In a heartbeat, he embraced me. “It’s impossible to express.” Giving me all of him. “Just how much I love you.”

Missing a call, it went straight to voicemail. _“I saw Poe and Finn today.”_ Unknowing how crucial it was. _“Please, come home the second you hear this.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> Honoring Peter Mayhew, our beloved Chewie <3
> 
> Also, Ben was playing this on the piano, I'm sure many of you have heard it :3
> 
> https://youtu.be/hTGYoTeGnqk
> 
> Thank you for your patience and ongoing support. It keeps me motivated!
> 
> I wish you nothing but the best during these crazy times <3
> 
> I’ve also created a playlist for this story if you’d like to have a listen :D
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> Happy readings! More chapters to come!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> Thank you, much love~


	12. Chapter 12

_This memory._ It kept replaying in my head.

_She reached for the adhesive strip covering my cut. “Your father was in danger?”_

_I nodded. “It was like the driver didn’t notice him crossing the street.”_

_“You’re so reckless.” She sighed, frustrated and worried. “What about your safety, Ben? Don’t-”_

_My lips touched hers. “I’d risk my life for those important to me.” The blush glowing. “Without hesitation.” On freckled cheeks._

Repeating. _What are you trying to show me?_

“Darn it.” Sitting upright, I turned to the sound of her voice. “I was hoping you wouldn’t be awake.”

She walked to me holding a breakfast tray. “The moment your presence leaves the bed, I-”

“Can’t seem to fall back asleep.” Setting it on the nightstand, her hands went to my shoulders. “It’s embarrassing to admit that.” Straddling me.

Wearing only my sweater, my fingers went beneath it. “I love you.” A breath escaping her as they roamed her body.

“I love you.” She leaned forward, her lips close. “I was certain of my feelings before we started dating.” Her hands moved to my chest. “But I didn’t say it because-” She went quiet, ending her sentence.

Placing mine over hers, I held them. “You were afraid.” Sensing we both felt it. “I know, sweetheart.”

* * *

My concentration wandered, distracted by his words.

_He brushed the side of my face. “You’re here with me yet.” The warmth growing. “I can’t help but miss you.”_

Knowing I won’t see him for a few days.

_“One day when you don’t have to leave.” Lifting my chin, he paused. “No.” Enrapturing my soul before he kissed me. “I’ll want you just the same.”_

My phone rang. “Hey, Rose. Sorry, I was going to call you during my break.” Bringing me out of my thoughts. “What’s so urgent that it couldn’t wait?”

* * *

Drifting from my writing, I stared past the curtains. _“I’ve got somewhere to go,” he told me. “See you around, Ben.”_ Watching the snowfall.

 _What have you been doing?_ Thinking to myself. _Dad._

* * *

I met them at the apartment after work.

“Hey, peanut,” Finn greeted as I closed the door.

“Hi, everyone.” They sat in the kitchen, waiting. “This was sudden.”

“I bet you’re tired.” Poe stood up, offering me a chair. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

Hanging my belongings, I could feel the tension in the room. “Um, sure, thanks.” Joining them, they gave uncertain glances at each other. “Okay, what’s going on you guys?” My suspicions rising.

Rose grabbed my hand. “Rey.” Speaking first. “There’s something we need to show you.”

* * *

Walking towards him, he was sitting on a bench facing the Brooklyn Bridge. “I should’ve known.”

“They upgraded this place.” He kept his eyes forward as I sat next to him. “We played here a lot when you were a youngster, remember?”

Nodding, the cold chilled me. “It’s my first time coming here.” Since we were by the river. “During the evening.”

“It’s better to visit the park in daylight.” He observed our surroundings. “This neighborhood isn’t the safest.”

I shrugged. “My memory of your upbringing is blurry.”

He chuckled. “It’s not as nice as where your mother grew up, where we raised you.”

“It isn’t terrible.” The thought of her made me smile. “Rey lives nearby.”

* * *

The video ended, no one spoke.

Letting the silence linger, drowning me in it.

* * *

“Tell me about her.” He was wondering. “Your girlfriend.”

* * *

“The three suspects claimed it was Ben’s fault. That he was drunk or doing drugs.” Poe looked to Finn, concerned. “Based on the security footage, it-”

“Seems like he was trying to protect someone.” Finn hesitated. “Somebody-”

* * *

“Our meeting was similar.” I couldn’t help but grin. “To how you met mom.”

* * *

“That doesn’t exist,” Rose finished, her voice trembling.

* * *

“Let me guess.” Crossing his arms, he shook his head. “She was in trouble, so you did the chivalrous thing.” Trying to stifle a laugh. “And she blamed you for saving her, am I right?”

* * *

Overcome with disbelief, I became distant, numb.

_“It was like the driver didn’t notice him crossing the street.”_

Tears streaming down my face.

* * *

The city lights were brilliant. “Somewhere along those lines.”

I could continue watching it with him as we did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my dears~
> 
> Tried to make it in time for Adam's birthday, lol 
> 
> Happy Belated to him <3
> 
> Thank you for your patience and ongoing support. It keeps me motivated!
> 
> I wish you nothing but the best during these crazy times <3
> 
> I’ve also created a playlist for this story if you’d like to have a listen :D
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/75taucd9phiSnm6dAUsSMh?si=tH9VwigoTvelWUKTNn98Cg
> 
> Don't hesitate to review and critique, they are appreciated as I'm always willing to improve and learn!
> 
> Happy readings! More chapters to come!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> Thank you, much love~


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